Things you should know before preparing your Valentine’s Day gifts in a new relationship
When selecting a gift for your particular someone, it’s vital to think about what they’ll love the most. Finding the ideal gift, whether you’re on your honeymoon or have been together for years, maybe difficult. How do you select fun and personal present for your lover that isn’t too serious? However, after your first Christmas and first New Year together, how do you come up with new ideas? Demonstrate that you are paying attention? Give them a present that shows you’ve been paying attention?
Navigating the early phases of a new relationship can be difficult enough since it will frequently necessitate a delicate balance of curiosity and aloofness. It’s even more difficult when Valentine’s Day is approaching: Selecting if a gift is suitable and expected or will scare someone away, becomes a milestone in and of itself.
We spoke with two relationship specialists, Susan Winter, a New York City dating coach professional and bestselling author, and Relationship Hero’s coach Shoya, to find out when it’s appropriate to buy a gift in a relationship and what types of gifts are appropriate for all these possible partners.
As it turns out, there is such a thing that is too early in a relationship for gift-giving, with Winter stating that determining suitable gift-giving necessitates assessing your relationship’s stage. The endeavor can be scary, according to Winter, because the underlying fear is that our present will be too much or too little. We will either overwhelm and scare our partner away, or we’ll disappoint them and lose interest, she admitted. We don’t want to exaggerate our relationship status, but we also don’t want to downplay what is going well.
Winter advises using judgment when assessing whether or not a relationship has progressed to the stage of gift-giving. Do you think this individual likes you? Do I feel at ease in this person’s company? Is what we have in common mutual? She stated that a yes answer to these questions is excellent. If you are unsure, she advises proceeding with caution, as your generosity will not boost their desire (only their guilt). It’s impossible to purchase your way into someone’s heart. So it has to be genuine and reciprocal, she explained.
To successfully negotiate this relationship milestone, Winter recommends gifting your new spouse something, whether it’s a card or a modest thoughtful present like a book they’d enjoy. If you’ve only gone on a few dates, Winter suggests giving your lover a tiny token, such as a Starbucks or favorite coffee shop gift card with a low denomination. If you are just starting to see each other, a leap of $25 to $40 is sufficient, she suggested.
If your gut instinct is not enough to tell you where your relationship is headed, Shoya says daters should rely on more clearly defined standards, such as the too soon timeline, which she defines as three dates or less — even if they happened in December or during the holiday season. Then a gift that confirms the relationship is necessary if you have just gone on three dates or less — Roses and chocolate are best for the upcoming Valentine’s Day — because they may convey the signal: you want to establish a long-term relationship. However, Shoya did point out that there are exceptions to this rule, such as if you have been invited to a friend’s or family’s event, in which case a small gift of thanks of no more than $20-$30 might be enough.
Winter recommends keeping gifts in the modest range for couples who have been dating for three months or longer but selecting something specific. A unique or homemade letter, as well as activity, presents like movie or museum tickets or a membership to their favorite magazine, are all suggestions she mentioned. These types of gifts, according to Winter, are what she refers to as recognition gifts, which convey the message: You’re important, and I want you to be happy doing what you enjoy. Finally, Winter advised that the present should demonstrate that you are concerned about the interests of the person you are dating.
Shoya concurred, noting that the rule is especially effective if the relationship is still in limbo, in which case she suggests spending no more than $50 on a present. You should also keep in mind that there are some presents that you should not give due to the value gap between both sexes. Do not buy something too expensive or sentimental, instead opt for something that says, “I was thinking about you and wanted to let you know.” According to Shoya, if you’ve had a conversation about where your relationship stands, the present can be slightly more heartfelt while still being casual. Remember that if dating presents indicate I thought about you and it is the thought that counts, new relationship gifts should say I think about you frequently and not only do I appreciate you, but I am looking forward to seeing you soon, she noted.
If you’re still unsure what to get or feel awkward spending money on someone you’ve only just met, non-tangible gifts, such as a beautiful meal out, a hike with a prepared picnic, couples cooking class, or a museum visit, are all wonderful options. Experiential presents, according to Winter, who loves these kinds of gifts, are useful because they allow people to create memories. Winter stated, “I believe that this form of the present might be more impactful than actual gifts since it produces long-lasting memories.” An experiential gift is a shared memory rather than a concrete indication of someone’s appreciation.
Finally, if you have decided that you are in a position to give a Valentine’s Day gift to a new partner, it should indicate that you also have paid attention to their likes and dislikes and that you have enjoyed spending time with them — however brief that time may have been.
Originally published at https://www.datingwise.org.